Friday, May 30, 2008

FOR CLOSE FRIENDS ONLY.

if you can read this, then you must be very close AND very special to me.:) yikes, konting puri muna.:) tapos tsaka ko sasabihin na.. syempre, halos lahat.. close sakin.:> hahaha.:)) basta yung mga kilala ko at nakakausap ko.:D yehes.:)) tsaka konting tawa nalang muna. KONTI LANG. wag sobra.

well.. here goes.

mom and i talked awhile ago. sabi niya, pupunta daw siya sa lawyer. i thought, may idedemanda ka nanaman?! :O sino?! :O at anong kaso?! :O

WRONG.

so when i asked why.. sabi niya..

magffile siya ng annulment.

after she said that.. my mind just went.. BLANK. i didn't know how to react so i didn't say anything. i just looked at her.. and i waited for another word. but i guess, yun din yung hinihintay niya na lumabas sakin. so, i said..

ooh. ok.

yeah, i know what you're thinking. bakit yun lang?! ayoko na magtanong. ayoko na malaman yung details. parang.. di ko kakayanin eeh. ok, alisin yung parang.

hindi ko talaga kakayanin.

so, after answering.. 'ok', i watched tv. then umalis ako sa kwarto. went to my room. locked myself in there. then stared at the wall.

then a teardrop fell.

that was a complete reality check. dati kasi.. wala akong paki alam. dati..

 OK. UMALIS NA SI DADDY DITO SA BAHAY. SO WHAT? I EXPECTED THAT TO HAPPEN.

ngayon..

 OK. HIWALAY NA TALAGA SILA. I EXPECTED THAT TO HAPPEN. but i didn't expect it to hurt this way.

boo. parang mali talaga. parang ako yung mali. na parang dapat hindi ganun yung pagtrato ko kay daddy.

now, i learned.. dude, miss ko na siya. daddy, i mean. nung nasa kwarto ako.. nagkakaron ako ng mga flashback. MGA talaga yun. kasi kung hindi niyo alam.. daddy's girl ako. sa sobrang pagka-daddy's girl ko.. ako lang ang tumatawag sakaniya na 'daddy'. kasi yung mga kapatid ko.. 'papa' ang tawag. tapos kapag galit ako sakaniya.. malalaman niya yun. kasi tatawagin ko siyang 'papa' imbis na 'daddy'. basta, madami. madaming memories ang bumalik. pero hindi lahat good memories. dko alam kung bakit kapag nakaka-isip ako ng magaganda.. laging natatapos sa di maganda.:| ewan. pero enough about that.

dun sa sinabi ni mama.. i guess, i can't do anything about it. i want them to be happy. i can see that mom is with bigdad. but i can't help but wonder.. what if they're still together? what if mom and dad still love each other like they used to 23 years ago? would i still be this miserable? shoot.

ok, while asking those questions.. may mga bagay na biglang luminaw. siguro kaya ganito ako ka-secretive. siguro kaya ganito ako ka-ilap [the word.@_@] sa tao. siguro kaya hindi ako ganun kabilis magtiwala. basta. ang dami. ang gulo ng isip ko. ang gulo dahil sabay sabay yung mga problema. ang gulo kasi bakit ngayon pa?!

tas kanina.. nalipat ko sa myx. tas narinig ko tong song na may lyrics na ganto..

and now i'm asking and begging you to stay. EVEN FOR JUST A DAY.

huling huli naman ako dun.

grabe.

full of regrets. full of questions. full of emotions.

now, that's emo. :|

29 comments:

  1. pwdeng 2mawag s bhay m? wlang cgnal sun e. i jst wnt to make sure you're ok.

    ReplyDelete
  2. hm.. yoslang.:) duuude, online ka.:|

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kim,
    I'm so sorry to hear all about this & everything that you're going through.
    Just know that our Lord is always there for you to hear your prayers.
    Just pray<3

    Feel better love.
    I love youuu.
    -Justine.

    ReplyDelete
  4. sbe mo nga nung isang araw..bago umulan.."there's a rainbow always after the rain" sbe naman ni kris.."cuurrecct!!"..=))

    ReplyDelete
  5. aww kiiim, huug! :)

    i know how you feel...AS IN, i know how you feel :) (i don't want to elaborate on it anymore)...basta, whatever happens, just stay strong. you'll surely find a way to cope with everything that's going on (lol, nagrhyme tong sentence and the one before this, strong, on :| @_@...okey labo anyway :P...). you have friends to help you naman, lots of them i bet :). plus! nandyan si god! :) just pray, He'll hear you :)

    bear huuug! :P

    ReplyDelete
  6. Starbucks? :>
    We're here for you Kim! Don't let this get through the best of you. HUUUUUUUUUUG!
    Love you Kiiiim! :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. aaaaaw kiiiiimm :)

    don't you worry, kim. we.re here for you! kaya mo yan...i mean kasama pala kami so..kaya natin to!!! (what? okei malabo!) hahaha..luvyah kim!

    ReplyDelete
  8. kim..

    ikaw ang una kong ginawan ng comment dito..

    im so sad sa nabasa ko.. well,gnyan tlga ang buhay.. always remember that God wont give you a trial that you cant surpass..

    andito lang ako at ang barkada ntin for you! love you kim! *hug tight*

    things we'll be okay and time will come that wounds will heal and you'll accept the things happening to you..isipin mo na lang na mgiging happy si mommy mo at si big dad at si daddy mo at ung family nia sa mangyayari..kaso, kaio nga lang ung magsusuffer..aww..=(

    ReplyDelete
  9. KIM! i will text you! Text me ahh. = }

    ReplyDelete
  10. awwww kiiim. :( kaya mo yan. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON and it happens because there's a lesson to learn from it. :)

    don't you worry too much. you're a very nice person and because of that, WE ARE ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU. :) love you kim! i miss you!

    ReplyDelete
  11. kimberly.

    as usual,gusto kita ihuuuuug.i feel so sorry pero i know kaya mo yan & you know that quote,yung God won't give you a problem you can't handle..basta it goes like that..what i mean to say is..i know YOU'RE STRONG ENOUGH.

    i love you.ü

    ReplyDelete
  12. Justine,
    Aww.. Thank you for the concern.:)
    But I'll be okay. I'm strong. :D

    I love you too.
    -Kim :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. tgnan mo yung lay-out ko sa taas. may nakasulat na ganun.:)) kagabi ko lang nakita. :)) alam mooo.. dapat nag-english ka.:)) OP ka sa mga replies oh. :)) joke.:P

    ReplyDelete
  14. aww chriiis, huug! :)

    hahaha.:)) thank you, thank you.:) kaya to.:P and yeah. ang labo.:)) pero napatawa mo ako.:P thank you. and, you're one of my friends.:) kaya nga you can read this eeh. :)) [yikee.. ang sweet ko.:))]

    ocge.. bear huuug! :P

    ReplyDelete
  15. Starbucks? :> yeah. i want signature hot chocolate. miss ko na yun.:)
    Yes, I know you are.:) And thank you for not letting me down. HUUUUUUUUUUG!
    Love you too Jaaaai! :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. don't worry maki. i'm still cute even after this incident.:D hahahahaha.:)) san nanggaling yun?:O ocge. kaya natin to!!! [so meaning ng kasama kayo.. maaannul din parents niyo? wag naman. ayoko mangyari sa inyo yun.:)] luvyah too maki!

    ReplyDelete
  17. nix..

    yey! i'm so special.:P hahahaha.:))

    don't be nix. i know everything's gon' be ok.:) i just shared it with you to let it all out. pero don't worry. i can do this! i'm strong as a lion.:) NAKS.

    thanks, thanks.:) i love you all. >:D

    ReplyDelete
  18. yep.:) i will text you as soon as possible. sorry, di ako nakareply kanina. thanks for the concern though. i appreciate it. MUA. :*

    ReplyDelete
  19. YEHES!!! hahahaha.:)) gretie.. i remember those advices we gave each other.:)) so funny. ang pathetic pala natin kung babalik-tanawin mo.:)) [the word.@_@]

    wooosh! i'm a nice person.:D ay.. may VERY pa. hahahaha.:)) lumipad ako cause of that.:D thank you. and i'm always here for you guys too. i love and miss you so.:)

    ReplyDelete
  20. elaine.

    as usual, naccute-an ka nanaman sakin.:D hahaha.:)) thank you, thank you sobra.:) yeah. i know i'm strong. but God's stronger. :D [ok, labo. pero it's true.:))]

    i love you too.ü

    ReplyDelete
  21. umi-english kayong lahat aah.:)) nakakatuwa.:P

    ReplyDelete
  22. ang out of place nman ng mga rply q dto. lhat cla may inspirational msg.:( gusto q aq dn. :D

    DUUUDE, hello. :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. :|

    short but effective. it made me smile duuude.:)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Good to hear (or read) that. Remember what I told you last night. Reflect on it and make sure you'll do it. Or else I won't give you chocolates. :)) sinuhulan? But they're right. You're strong Kim. I believe you can get through this.

    I hope I'd still see that smile on your face. That smile you've managed to keep even when the worst happens. Gidamash, duuude. :*

    ReplyDelete
  25. KIMBERLY GRACE. ok ka na baaaaaaa? i want to hug you. as in now na. haha weh. love yooou >:D< wag ka na saaaaaaad, please?

    ReplyDelete
  26. i will, i will.:) for the sake of chocolates.:D thank you for last night. di mo ako pinatulog ng maayos. thanks for the stories. at dun sa mga sinabi mo na KAKAIBA na naging dahilan kung bakit nawala yung mga yun sa isip ko.:)) and thanks for calling me.:D

    and, you will.:) hahaha.:)) and you remembered the gidamash! hahaha.:)) duuuuuuuuuuude. ang cute cute nun. at ang labo kung bakit naging YUN yung meaning nun.:)) hahaha.:)) GIDAMASH, DUUUDE. :*

    ReplyDelete
  27. ASHLEY (your second name here. if you have one.:))) i already told you i'm ok.:D hahahaha.:)) sabi ko nga sa ym, by saying 'i want to hug you', you already did. hahahahaha.:)) MAS WEH.:| love yooou too >:D

    ReplyDelete